8/21/2021

How Being a Mom was the #1 Mistake I made in my Business

~2 min read
Learn from failure

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

When I started my business 23 years ago it was because my VP Marketing job didn’t allow me the flexibility to be a mom to my toddler. I purposefully created a family-oriented culture in our small marketing firm. The problem was, I also acted as a mom towards my employees.

The lesson I learned: treating my employees as family COST ME DEARLY.

This behaviour burdened me with unnecessary worry and blindsided me when they lied, stole or sued – all of which happened. Never mind the stress: acting as a mom in my business cost $25,000 to settle a wrongful dismissal suit I should have seen coming.

You don’t have to be a heartless, calculating boss. All you need are boundaries and strategies to stick with them. Here are 3 simple steps:

1) Clarify your values

What is truly important to you? What does that look like? For example, reciprocity is a fundamental value for me. That means I need to see a genuine “give & take” in a relationship.

2) Know your deal breakers and how to spot them

Think of past instances when you felt a value was disrespected. What were the signs? Building on my example of reciprocity, if I give someone unexpected time off, in return I expect the person to volunteer an update. If that doesn’t happen, it’s a red flag.

3) Communicate early, often & be ready to act

Ask about values in the interview. Reiterate them during onboarding. Monitor how values are enacted during the employee’s probationary period.

Now if I notice a pattern – someone’s being sketchy with details or inconsistent in their stories, I ask not to pry but for clarity. If the reciprocity isn’t there, I act earlier.

I realized a little late that I had no business acting like a mom to my employees. Learn from my mistakes and save yourself stress!

What Do You Think?

Please share your experiences and thoughts below. Let’s learn from one another and celebrate each other’s successes.

Thanks for reading!

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

When I started my business 23 years ago it was because my VP Marketing job didn’t allow me the flexibility to be a mom to my toddler. I purposefully created a family-oriented culture in our small marketing firm. The problem was, I also acted as a mom towards my employees.

The lesson I learned: treating my employees as family COST ME DEARLY.

This behaviour burdened me with unnecessary worry and blindsided me when they lied, stole or sued – all of which happened. Never mind the stress: acting as a mom in my business cost $25,000 to settle a wrongful dismissal suit I should have seen coming.

You don’t have to be a heartless, calculating boss. All you need are boundaries and strategies to stick with them. Here are 3 simple steps:

1) Clarify your values

What is truly important to you? What does that look like? For example, reciprocity is a fundamental value for me. That means I need to see a genuine “give & take” in a relationship.

2) Know your deal breakers and how to spot them

Think of past instances when you felt a value was disrespected. What were the signs? Building on my example of reciprocity, if I give someone unexpected time off, in return I expect the person to volunteer an update. If that doesn’t happen, it’s a red flag.

3) Communicate early, often & be ready to act

Ask about values in the interview. Reiterate them during onboarding. Monitor how values are enacted during the employee’s probationary period.

Now if I notice a pattern – someone’s being sketchy with details or inconsistent in their stories, I ask not to pry but for clarity. If the reciprocity isn’t there, I act earlier.

I realized a little late that I had no business acting like a mom to my employees. Learn from my mistakes and save yourself stress!

What Do You Think?

Please share your experiences and thoughts below. Let’s learn from one another and celebrate each other’s successes.

Thanks for reading!

Community Manager | Gestionnaire de la communauté
Community Manager | Gestionnaire de la communauté
Community Manager | Gestionnaire de la communauté
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Comments
what-do-women-need-from-a-business-conference-right-now
Ashley Lapierre
1790185040260
Hi Doreen and Business Sisters, What an amazing post! You have me, emotionally. It's amazing how much we put on our plate and how much we actually manage to balance. When I discuss with people what I do in the run of a week, they ask me how I do it. I always reply I take things minute by minute. I don't know how I do it, I just know it needs to get done and what's considered priority in that moment. I've learnt that this doesn't always serve us well. I've become overstimulated, exhausted and realizing that the little things that seemed so normal and easy to do, became forgotten and caused unneeded stress. One thing I got from this year is letting go. Letting go of what I cannot change, letting go of what no longer serves me and releasing it with grace. I know and I feel it to not be enough, which got me curious and resonating with your post. How even though I live so close, the thought of a quiet room to collect my thoughts from the last 7 years of not having a break, makes me teer up. I say this, to say thank you in advance for a relaxation room. Giving permission to reset. I am also very excited for the ask us anything discussions as no business is the same and answers are different depending on circumstances. I am really looking forward to your new format of the conference and look forward to meeting you all there!!
from-doreens-desk---confession-life-has-been-chaos-lately
Isabelle
1784128172423
Merci de soulever ce point important qui demeure ignoré, parfois consciemment par certains et inconsciemment par d'autres. Ces ''ping'' que je reçois lorsque je travaille (Chats, courriels,…) me grugent à moi aussi mon énergie. Au travail, je n'ai pas le choix que de les laisser actifs, sinon je reçois un appel me demandant si j'ai pris connaissance du courriel ou du message chat. Quand c'est la fête de quelqu'un, on peut avoir des dizaines de messages défiler et donc ''pinguer'' dans les premières heures de ma journée de travail. Le moment où ma concentration et mon énergie sont à leur meilleur. De plus, ces messages veulent aussi dire que je passe mon temps sur des tâches disparates et soudaines et peu de temps sur les choses qui sont importantes, qui font une réelle différence. Merci du partage. Je me sens moins unique dans mon ressenti.
from-theory-to-reality-my-immersion-with-business-sisters
Jacqueline
1778114095697
Thanks for the share Manel. Glad you enjoyed and learned from this experience. A wonderful first hand experience to share with your friends too. All the best in your future adventures.
mentorship-changes-everything-celebrating-our-partnership-with-the-scotiabank-women-initiative
Hélène Faubert
1764380823000
Having this mentorship available with Scotia Bank is an unbelievable opportunity and tool to help anyone in business. Truly blessed that Business Sisters has this connection and information to help business sisters.
radical-generosity-resetting-and-the-power-of-asking
Hélène Faubert
1764385083000
We have to learn that sharing what we learned in our businesses and the experience we acquired are things we can share without feeling that our business will be robbed by competition in the business world, competition is often good in the business world as it keeps us honest, accountable, and determined to do the best we can with the products or services we provide. Confidence goes a long way in knowing we give our best, share our failures and successes and always have an ear open to learn and maintain a voice to speak and be heard.
census-2025-results-are-in-learn-about-the-women-entrepreneurs-of-business-sisters
Donna MacDonald
1748636476525
That’s fantastic to hear! Data like this truly highlights the dedication, resilience, and diversity within the Business Sisters Entrepreneurs community. It’s inspiring to see how their hard work and innovation contribute to the broader business landscape.
hr-challenges-how-not-to-feel-like-a-bitch
Denise Sukkau
1723132740137
We are entering a time when women need to take our place, fill up our space and be who we are without apology. I have difficulty with this and thus I try to keep expanding, keep learning, keep letting go of those past experiences that have kept me small(er). Our culture and past societal 'norms' in a patriarchal time have diminished our voice in addition to other past traumas to women. In supporting each other we can rise together without guilt or shame for being a b*tch or any other shadow expression of our soul, to embrace our power that is within. (Please note I have recently come off of a feminine empowerment retreat called Rise Sister Rise.)
navigating-networking-real-talk-for-business-sisters
Moumie
1712533017881
Bonjour Doreen, J'aime cet article, c'est bien dit... !!😄 Je rajoute, tu es aussi pour ma part, dans ton rôle, de pouvoir encadrer les choses autant que tu peux car, gérer les êtres humains est une tâche énorme pour n'importe quelle occasion. Je viens d'apprendre aussi une chose intéressante, la philosophie de Ted Lasso, je ne connaissais pas cette série, je vais la regarder. Merci de partager cela. Donc, en un mot, tout ca est intéressant moi, je te trouve en tout cas authentique :)!! Bravo pour ton leadership👍
meet-the-business-sisters-results-of-the-first-ever-census-of-our-community
Lexine
1710194161296
Huh - ma première réaction - 41% ont plus de 6 employés. Il serait intéressant de voir combien sont des sous-contractants VS part-time VS full-time, et les liens aux revenus bruts?
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